doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
