Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
