I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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