he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
No subtext here. People are naked.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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