you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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