How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
