What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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