Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
How external is "for external use only"?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
