Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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