it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
