You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
