apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
