I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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