i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
