On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
