We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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