Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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