is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
