just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
