I smell stomach acid.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
