I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
