Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
