pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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