hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
