I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
