i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
