I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
