is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
