It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
