Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
