I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
