I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
