i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
