We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
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