Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
