Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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