It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
