used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
