we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
