You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
