theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
