last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
