Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
