youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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