so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
This house was built for laser tag.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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