I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
