you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
