there's paper in my vomit.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
