3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
