Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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