Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
